Welcome to the Storybook World of Versailles

The Queen's Hamlet. Photo by Frog Mom

Was Marie-Antoinette the first celebrity mom to implement the farm-to-table concept? While the Château de Versailles is better known for the glitzy Hall of Mirrors or the imposing King's bedchamber, the northern end of the park conceals a hamlet of thatched-roof cottages surrounded by vegetable gardens where the queen's farm supplied veggies and dairy products to the royal children. Savagely destroyed during the French Revolution, the Queen's Hamlet has been slowly massaged back to health and is now a hot spot on the Versailles circuit.

Marie-Antoinette. Chateau de Versailles

After a long day of shopping in Paris, I took the car and did my girls a favor by taking them to this enchanting world where ducks, pond carps and baby goats are now resident royalty. Despite the imposing lines at the front of the castle, this hamlet was near empty and provided a much appreciated breath of fresh air. The best part? We rented a small electric car to get to the hamlet from the castle.

Inspired by the village at the Château de Chantilly, Marie-Antoinette asked Louis XVI if a country escape could be built for her children. From 1783 to 1785, architects and small hands were hard at work, digging a lake, planting vineyards, building a fully functional dairy farm. Of the 12 cottages that rose from the ground to house and entertain the queen and her entourage, only 9 remain today.

Vroom vroom. Photo by Frog Tadpole

Though 12 seems like a small number for a castle as big as Versailles, the hamlet was never meant to be the court's country club - much on the contrary. You strolled the alleys of this village by invitation only and it had to come from the queen. So there. What you see today is an exclusive country getaway, one that was meant to be shared with family and friends and whose happy hours lasted only four years.

We rented our electric car in front of the castle and my girls giggled as we made our way down the wide alleys, around fountains and along cobblestone roads to the Petit Trianon. The little car is so silent and slow it was like an oversize toy - definitely a plus for kids. We parked at the Petit Trianon, exited to the garden and followed gravel paths along a creek. Soon the first buildings emerged between the green foliage of the historic garden.

"Girls, check this out!" I yelled. Surrounded by the storybook cottages, the lake is a lovely sight. My mom sat on a bench and we tried to figure what the building behind us was.

The Mill - Le Moulin. Photo by Frog Mom

"It was the mill," a man replied. I looked at him. Dressed elegantly, he talked behind an uneven row of crooked teeth. "Come, I'll show you" he added. Turns out he was one of the castle's guides.

With a name like that and a water wheel, I figured the mill must have been used to grind grain day in day out. Not so. Ironically the Mill was a house whose rural attributes were purely decorative. "Everything's ruined inside," said the man, "It's not even safe to go in." Too bad, a peek would have been nice.

The Queen's House. Photo by Frog Mom

The queen's house with an elevated walkway and a billiard room was the masterpiece of the hamlet. Lavishly furnished, it featured a dining room on the ground floor, a guard room, a game room and a parlor upstairs. "We even hosted a small private party here last week," confided the man, showing a wooden door. A private party at the Queen's hamlet? Wild images popped in my head, dancing on the soundtrack of Sofia Coppola's Marie-Antoinette movie. Wow! I wanted to know more but the man politely changed topics to talk about the condition of the buildings.

Spiral staircase of the Queen's House. Photo by Frog Mom 

Though the Queen's Hamlet has been an integral part of Versailles since 1784, it was abandoned after the French Revolution and restored 3 times before opening to the public in 2006. Yes, a few centuries of time out will leave a building pretty depressed. The spiral staircase of the Queen's House looked strikingly fragile. "It's broken," observed my 6-year old. "They should take better care of it."

Sweetie pie, if you only knew. They are taking good care of the buildings but they'll need more piggy banks to save it from further degradation. "You see the low walls in the garden over there?" asked the man, "they trace the footprint of the destroyed cottages. The plan is to rebuild them." Aw, that's good news.

The Dove House. Photo by Frog Mom

We arrived in front of a darling house with a creeping wisteria surrounded by a sea of greenery, cabbages, chards and beets. "This was the dove house," he explained. Literally this building is where Marie-Antoinette kept chickens, pigeons, roosters and doves. Nowadays, it would be an upscale chicken coop. Oh the sweet life of a feathered breast!

We kept going and the man asked, "Have your daughters seen the farm?" When I said no, he urged me to go now. "It's now an educational farm for the city's school children. On the way, peek inside the milking barn. It's still furnished." I knew I must not keep the man captive so I thanked him for the tour and we headed for the farm.

Inside the milking barn. Photo by Frog Mom

Next to the Marlborough Tower stood the milking barn. Well, barn, you see what I mean. This is Versailles, not Kansas. The only piece of furniture I saw was a big white marble table. Technically, milk was not pasteurized and treated in this barn but in a neighboring building that has since been destroyed.

The existing milk barn was a tasting room where the queen and her children enjoyed fresh milk out of white china pitchers and cups. Though the original marble table was smashed during the revolution, this faithful replica was rebuilt under orders of Napoleon. What a fantastic table! I want Pottery Barn to make one for me.

Happy goats. Photo by Frog Mom

Beyond a patch of vineyards and a green tunnel, we reached the farm. Big fat rabbits hopped in the underbrush, safely sticking close to their wooden pens. Inside the farm yard, my 6-year old squealed, "A piggy!" A plump pink pig was slouched on a comfy bed of straw. My 7-year old ran to pet a donkey. The old man was right, this is where kids belonged.

More animals grazed peacefully, such as these goats, cows and a couple of horses. There's definitely something to be said about being a school kid in Versailles! Not that the Hayes Valley farm isn't cool, but this is another world.

The pond's hungry carps. Photo by Frog Mom

After a little roaming around, we came back to the lake and saw the same man glancing over someone's shoulders under a bridge. We got closer. "What's going on?" I asked. He grumbled. "It hasn't rained enough this year." He showed the water lilies. "The lake's level is low, the lilies have taken over the lake and the fish have multiplied." He shook his head. "Eeew!" said my girls. True, the sight of so many gaping carp mouths was a tad gross.

"We want to go back to the electric car!" said the girls. I looked at my watch. Oops, time to come back home. "Let's go girls!"

The Grand Canal. Photo by Frog Mom

We found my mom on the same bench, gazing quietly at the lake. "How was it?" she asked. It was so nice. I'm glad I waited an hour in line to rent this damn electric car. It was well worth the wait. We hopped back in the car and came back to the castle, admiring the sun glow on the grand canal where visitors rowed their boats. Summertime, and the living is easy in Versailles.

Practical Details

• Best time to visit: any day but Tuesday and Saturday. Tuesdays are busy because Paris' national museums are closed, and Saturday is bad because it's Saturday. By the way, Versailles is closed on Mondays, January 1st, May 1st and December 25th.
• Hours: until October 31st, 9am-6.30pm, after October 31st, 9am-5pm.
• Electric car rental: the fleet only features 27 vehicles so show up early to grab one. Phone number for info: 01 39 66 97 66.  Driver needs to be 23 years old or older and you need to show a driver's licence.
• If the electric cars are all gone: First you cry your eyes out. Then you decide to use your legs and walk through the gardens - it's good for your blood pressure. Or you decide to hop on the "electric train" - the kids should like that better than the "good for your blood pressure" argument.  
• Tickets: you don't need a ticket for the castle to visit the Queen's Hamlet. You'll need to buy a ticket for the gardens (skip the general entrance, follow the gates to the garden's entrance) and a second ticket for the combo Petit Trianon + Hameau de la Reine. If you insist, you can buy a ticket for the castle but please, please, please, do it online! The lines are depressingly long and all these people all want to get in. 
• Kids under 18 are free.
• Museum Pass: buy a 1-day, 3-day or 5-day Museum Pass and get unlimited line-free access to 70 museums and buildings around Paris, including the Chateau de Versailles, Louvre, the Musée d'Orsay and the Sainte Chapelle. Pretty sweet deal.  

Explore the Louvre Museum with Children

Egyptian mummy. Photo by Frog Mom

Can you freestyle the Louvre with kids? Hehe, maybe in the dead of winter when every Parisian's in the Alps skiing the winter away, but smack in the middle of summer you're pushing the ultimate frontier in extreme tourism. I tried it with my 6- and my 7-year-olds and guess what? They don't even resent me. The 6-year old enjoyed Flemish still lives of winter fruit while the 7-year old liked Mona Lisa. Even the über-crowded Ancient Egypt collections left a good impression on them.

Here is my experience, coupled with a few survival tips on how to skip long lines, find a restroom for emergencies and sit down for lunch at whatever hour without suffering more lines. Obviously the line factor is huge at the Louvre - some Disney execs had better enlighten the museum staff on efficient foot traffic. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Before
Before going to the Louvre, get your tickets. Kids are free so it'll be only you adult. If you wait to get there to buy your tickets, better kiss your half day goodbye. I checked the stats - the Louvre Museum is the most visited art museum in the world in the entire galaxy. Meaning - you're not alone here. I bought my ticket at a FNAC store but you can also get them online. On D-day at 10am, I held my girls' hands in the metro and followed the Louvre exit signs through the crowds vaguely muttering, "What was I thinking?"

Check the lines! Photo by Frog Mom

Getting in
Once in the underground shopping area leading to the infamous pyramid, I stumbled upon, err -  wait, was this a line to get in? I almost fainted at the gazillion people in front of us so I walked straight to an information officer. Surely, he'd help a mom with two kids?

"You have your ticket madame? You need to go upstairs to the front of the pyramid. That's where you'll find your direct access." Phew. I wiped my brow and made for the Tuileries garden, crossed the street and headed to the pyramid entrance. Finally we were getting somewhere.

Under the pyramid. Photo by Frog Mom

Family itinerary
Or were we? We descended into the main hall of the Louvre - that's the hub for all three aisles of the building. I asked another information officer if they had museum itineraries for kids. You know, the kind of fun brochure for kids with bright drawings and treasure hunts?

He blanked. I showed the kids. Here, see? 6 and 7, the young one can't read. His eyes lit up and he grabbed three brochures. Two were indeed meant for kids but for much older children than mine - the kind that cares about who painted the ceilings. The last brochure was a postcard for an exhibition. Sigh. I thanked the guy and decided to freestyle the museum visit when he said, "Oh by the way, there is an audio-guide for kids." Well now, that was exciting news. "Where can I get one?" I asked. Up the stairs by the Denon entrance, he showed me. Off we went, up to the Denon entrance. Turns out the audio-guides were all gone. They were gone at the Richelieu entrance too, and the Sully entrance. Too late, love. My watch showed 11am. We hadn't started yet and the crowds were in - in full force. We better get crackin'!

Medieval Louvre. Photo by Louvre.fr

Medieval Louvre
I decided to start with Ancient Egypt, which when you follow the arrows from the Denon Gate, is a multi-level maze that takes you through the medieval Louvre. Though the Louvre is more often called a museum than a palace, it was a fortified castle in the 12th century and you can walk along the underground bases of the castle's towers. That's a part of the museum I really like if only because it shows the medieval city below 21s century Paris. You're 60 feet underground in front of the former stronghold of Paris. Pretty cool. Like many metropolitan areas in Old Europe, Paris is a Swiss cheese with many levels.

The Sphynx. Photo by Frog Mom

Ancient Egypt
A few tunnels later, we emerged in the Ancient Egypt collections. My 7-year old is obsessed with Ancient Egypt since she read the comic book "Astérix and Cléopâtre" so I knew we must at least see that.

Statues, old gods, pottery, jewelry, furniture, smithing work - we lingered on every single display so the girls would understand what they were seeing. The jewelry particularly caught their eye, as well as who the gods were and why they had animal heads.

When we reached the room with the mummies, I had reached my crowd saturation limit and we made a bee line for the stairs so we could escape to ... the Italian Renaissance, possibly the most visited area of the Louvre. Why oh why?

Mona Lisa
Mona Lisa of course. The mysterious woman is so popular that there are signs pointing to the painting, rather than the overarching department. Wow.

The closest I could get. Photo by Frog Mom

We found Mona Lisa and I knew right away I'd never see it up close. Check the photo and see how you would carve yourself a nice path to the front. A blow torch maybe? Even that would be tedious work.

Trusting in my girls' abilities to fend off for themselves and find a way, I sent them to reach the front of the chaotic crowd. After 5 minutes, I was scanning the crowd anxiously. Why weren't they back yet? After 10 minutes I was about to yell their names and walked to the side of the painting. There they were, the two of them huddled together, admiring the enigmatic smile of the Florentine model. Oh dear, I was done with crowds. Off to the 19th century wing!

Napoleon IIIrd apartments. Photo by Frog Mom

Napoleon IIIrd Apartments
And so we changed wings, went up a flight of stairs and crossed the Renaissance medals department (great quiet restrooms if you feel so inclined) to find the glitzy gilded parlors of Napoleon the 3rd. That would be 1860s, the French equivalent to the Victorian era. Think lavish interiors, exotic palm trees and plump velvet couches. All that's missing is a lady in a lacy long dress and you got the Phantom of the Opera.

Finally a room where we could walk without bumping into a group lead by a flag-bearer. Ancient Egypt and Italian Renaissance took their toll on my nerves and my ears - I needed some down time.

"Mom, what are we doing here?" Kiddo, this is an oasis of tranquility. Can't you just enjoy? "Mom, I'm bored." OK, you're hungry. "Can we go home now?" Just you wait - one last floor and the marathon's over.

French Paintings
We strolled through the parlors, admired the collection of Renaissance glassware and pottery on the way, and crossed yet another wing to finish on the upper floor where my favorite paintings are. The 2nd floor of the Richelieu wing is dedicated to Flemish, German and French paintings, all of which I adore. All we needed to do was take our time, enjoy and relax - without obsessing over lunch. Good thing I'd thought about sneaking in a few dark chocolate nonpareils.

So there we were, on this extremely quiet floor. Very few visitors. Almost no sounds. Natural sky and window lighting. A far cry from the chaotic wrestling two floors below. Boucher, Chardin, Fantin de la Tour and Watteau were all present - painters I associate with a poignant romanticism. I was in heaven. By then my girls were exhausted but didn't realize it. The benches were comfortable enough. "Mom, can we have dessert at Angelina's" Yes sweetie pie, after we find some lunch.

Lunch
At 2pm, we got out of the museum and picked one of the many restaurants of the international food court in the Carrousel du Louvre. The girls went Chinese, I went Oriental. Bliss. We sat down and ate. Despite the crowds, the commotion and the craze, the Louvre was a good museum experience. What better place to sharpen a child's art appreciation skills? I realize that when we browse through art databases and they stop me saying, "I know that image!" Darling, you made my day.

Zen. Photo by Frog Mom

Practical Details

• Hours: Open Wednesday through Monday, closed Tuesdays. 9am - 6pm. Closed Jan 1st, May 1st, Dec. 25th.
• Rates: Kids under age 26 are free. General admission Euros 10. Free 1st Sunday of each month and Bastille Day (July 14).
• Tickets: Get advance tickets online and at major department stores such as Galeries Lafayette, Printemps, FNAC or Virgin Megastore. 
• Museum Pass: buy a 1-day, 3-day or 5-day Museum Pass and get unlimited line-free access to 70 museums and buildings around Paris, including the Louvre, the Musée d'Orsay and the Sainte Chapelle. Pretty sweet deal. 
• Tours: Tours in English every day at 11am and 2pm. Tour lasts 90 minutes and covers major highlights.
• Food: there are 2 cafés inside the museum but if you wait, the Carrousel du Louvre has everything you need, from a Starbucks Coffee with free wifi to the international food court called Restaurants du Monde, open daily from 11am to 8pm (sort of a revved up airport food court with plastic trays and tons of tables).
• Wifi: you can connect at the Starbucks Coffee or in the Apple store.
• Give the kids a break: after the Louvre, stroll through the Tuileries garden and let the kids run around the trees, fountains and sculptures. They'll need it.

Four Itineraries to Discover Paris with Kids

Playground at the Parc Monceau. Photo by Frog Mom

Quintessential Paris features late night walks by the river Seine, gourmet eateries, and world-class museums - until you travel with kids. That's when you wonder what, in the name of the Holy Baguette, Parisian parents do with their offspring! Surely, they can't hit every single high fashion store with a toddler in tow on the Left Bank before sitting down with merlot at a starred bistrot. Or can they?

That's in essence what my friend Jenny truly wanted to know when she wrote me: "We are finally starting to get ready for our trip to France and trying to line up some good kid activities in Paris. Do you have any good recommendations or sources of recommendations that we could use?" Over the years I've taken my girls all over the City of Lights and I'm getting my Parisian trips down to a nice routine with "pilgrimage" stops. Based on my experience, here four itineraries that will appeal both to kids and parents.

Ready for a ride? Photo by Frog Mom

1. Montmartre

Sights
Start with a crowd-pleaser. Montmartre might be tourist heaven on earth but it's still as picturesque as portrayed in the movie Amélie. The hilly borough that once hosted the likes of Toulouse Lautrec and Paris' bohemian artists in the early 1900s is cross-crossed by narrow cobblestone streets leading to the Place du Tertre where caricaturists and portraitists outnumber locals. At kid level, Montmartre hides a different layer of fun.

Le Passe-Muraille. Photo by Frog Mom

At the bottom of the hill, get off at the métro stop Anvers or Les Abbesses and find the Manège du Sacré-Coeur, an old-fashioned double-decker carousel with turn-of-the-century animals. My girls love double-deckers, they're the best to wave to your folks from up high! Once that's done, leave the square to count  the steps up to the Basilique du Sacré-Coeur - 237 is the magic number.

With a stroller, you're better off hopping on the mini cable train called Funiculaire. It gets you up to the top too where you find the Basilica of the Sacred-Heart. The iconic white church that overlooks the city was completed in 1919 and is well worth a visit inside. Try to see the creepy arched crypt, it is quite stylish. If you are lucky you'll hear the amazing pipes of the organ.

From the basilica, take the rue Saint-Eleuthere to the Place du Tertre and enjoy the artists, the sidewalk cafés and the crowds. Cross the square onto the rue de Norvins down to the Place Marcel Aymé, a teeny tiny square with a wall. There the kids will find a man sticking out of the wall, a tribute to a 1943 novella by French poet and writer Marcel Aymé.

Place du Tertre. Photo by Frog Mom

In the story, a man swallows pills that enable him to walk through walls in Montmartre. He falls in love with a neighbor's wife. It's all good until things turn sour and one day he's stuck half way through a wall. Here he is now, forever brooding over his fate.

Dining
For a bite around Montmartre, find the Patisserie Couderc, 1 bis rue Tardieu and its delish pastries, or sit down at the La Galette du Moulin, 1 rue Veron, for sweet and savory crepes. For gourmet eats, the Bistrot Le Miroir, 94 rue des Martyrs, is where it's at.  

2. Jardin des Plantes

Sights
Blending tropical greenhouses such as the Conservatory of Flowers in the Golden Gate Park and a stunning natural history museum like the Smithsonian, the Jardin des Plantes is a must-see for garden lovers. This 400 years-old green sanctuary succeeded to the royal botanical gardens and counts several themed gardens where kids can try to guess the name of plants, run down alleys or spy ducks on lily ponds.

Strolling thru the Jardin des Plantes. Photo by Frog Mom

Before any museum visit, I recommend hitting the Dodo Manège, a quaint carousel where animals are all extinct species from long long ago. My girls both went for the  Sivatherium, an odd blend of giraffe and elk that roamed savannas 10,000 years ago. It's one of the few moving animals on the carousel anyway. Little kids can go the Dodo way in all safety!

Riding like a dodo. Photo by Frog Mom

Move on the Museum National d'Histoire Naturelle whose Grande Galerie de l'Evolution presents a Noah's arch parade  of animal species on earth, all lined up on the ground floor of the big hall. Visually it's striking. Little kids might get bored - the museography is somewhat stuffy - but adults will love the feel of the building. Ask at the counter for big kids' activities in English.

Dining
Whenever I go to the Jardin des Plantes, I never fail to take my girls to the Café Maure, the restaurant at the Grande Mosquée de Paris, 39 rue Geoffroy St-Hilaire, right behind the Jardin des Plantes. With its arched terraced patio where fig trees shade round tables with mosaics, you'll feel transported to another region of the world altogether. Honestly, my girls didn't care for the oriental pastries (they sure are sweet and nut-intensive) but they enjoyed an orange juice while I sipped a Moroccan mint tea. Rumor has it the savory couscous at the indoors restaurant is so-so but the great decor might win you over. In any case, kids can have fun in the patio. No one will tell them off for playing in the trees.

The Jardin du Luxembourg's playground. Photo by Frog Mom

3. Jardin du Luxembourg
Sights
A green foray in the Latin Quarter, the Jardin du Luxembourg is another staple of Parisian Sundays and the opportunity for you to combine shopping, great food and fun. Hop off the métro at Saint-Sulpice and admire the church on the square, right across from a former fire station. The surrounding streets are temples of fashion, lingerie and haute patisserie, not the least of which is avant-gardist pastry chef Pierre Hermé (see below in Dining).

Zadig et Voltaire is one of my fave clothing stores and their children line is a killer - both in looks and price tags. Further east at 78 rue de Seine (cross street Saint-Sulpice) you will find a candle store like no other, Maison Cir. They make the nicest birthday candles and I find it very hard to resist to their fragrant candles.

Jean-Claude Desarthis, current
owner of the puppet theatre. Photo
by Guignol du Luxembourg

Anyhoo, after you're done browsing, head to the nearest entrance of the Jardin du Luxembourg. Here is a map with access points and activities. I took my girls to the Saturday afternoon Guignol puppet show (French Punch and Judy) and it was a blast. The show features 30 uninterrupted minutes of puppets playing around on various sets with furniture, set to recorded music and voices. Since the show is all in French, non-Francophile kids might find it harder to relate but the slapstick comedy is universal.

Outside by the octagonal pond, kids can rent and float model sailboats by the half hour - real mini sailboats with wooden hull and canvas sails!

Model sailboats. Photo by Enrico Antongiovanni

The only playground is a Parisian shocker: kids pay to get in! It's weird but we paid anyway since my girls were drooling over the jungle gym and zipline. We stopped our exploration there but tiny eateries can keep you longer.

Dining
You have to go to Pierre Hermé, if only to sample the macarons with unusual flavors such as quince and rose and tangerine and olive oil. They're the bomb! Kids will most likely find a pastry they fancy. For the real thing (as in, savory), the Grande Epicerie de Paris (@Le Bon Marché) is a high-end food store with three restaurants from gourmet fast food to full-on sit-down meals.

4. Passages of Paris

Passage Verdeau. Photo by Frog Mom

Sights
Did you know there were covered streets in Paris called Passages? Drilled as all-weather shopping passageways between busy bourgeois streets in the 1850s, their distinctive arched glass ceilings and artsy paved floors are total eye candy for photographers. On rainy days, they're also great options for kids to run around "outside".

Recently I took a Hungarian friend of mine through a dozen of them in 2 hours, starting at the Tuileries and finishing north of Le Marais. My kind of urban hike!

Passage Jouffroy. Photo by Frog Mom

All passages are lined with shops and cafés but two passages will appeal to children for their incredible toy stores: Passage des Princes and Passage Jouffroy. The latter is where Au Pain d'Epices ravishes young and old with wooden toys, doll houses and plush animals.

A La Mere de Famille. Photo by Frog Mom 

When you go, see at least the Passage des Panoramas and the Galerie Vivienne - they're the most spectacular. North of the Passage Verdeau at 35 rue du Faubourg Montmartre, you will find A La Mère de Famille, Paris' oldest sweet shop and one of our regular stops.

There I buy candied violet petals to decorate my cakes, old-fashioned fruit lollies, fruit leather and stuffed prunes. I always let my girls pick one bag of candies, a tricky choice which takes them forever since there are so many jars filled with delightful items.

Dining
A sidewalk café in a passageway, A Priori Thé, 35 Galerie Vivienne, serves light fare from breakfast to tea time but no further. In the Passage des Panoramas, both the wine bar Racines (8 Passage des Panoramas) and L'Arbre à Cannelle (57 Passage des Panoramas) are good options.

Conclusion
I never know what my favorite things are in Paris. I lived there 10 years and it seems there's entire worlds I don't know about in the city. There's just so much to do and so little time. All I know is that my girls love going there, taking the métro and eating out. For them, Paris is a big playground with fun stuff at every street corner. I guess that's the gist of vacations! I hope your kids like it too. It may not be the most child-friendly city but there's a lot to do with the junior crew to satisfy all ages.

The Horrible, No, Epic and Unbelievably Long Voyage from San Francisco to Paris

This should have been a routine holiday flight: San Francisco Departure at 7.55 am on Friday Dec. 18 – Washington D.C., Washington D.C. – Paris Arrival Saturday Dec. 19 at 6.35 am. Total trip time: roughly 15 hours.

As it turns out, there are no routine holiday flights. In the end, the voyage lasted 72 hours and 56 minutes, going through 3 planes, two trains, various buses, a ferry boat and a car. Thanks for the ride, United! Here is how this unfortunate series of events unfolded - around the clock.

Friday Dec. 18, 2009

7.55 am (PST): UA 914. Take off. Direction, Washington D.C. Feeling good. We start watching “Four Christmases.”

10.10 am: Captain announcement. Our Boeing 777’s anti-icing machinery is down. The East Coast is snowed in. We are heading into a big snow storm. You do the math. “Four Christmases” sucks. We start our descent after a not-so-reassuring pep talk from the captain: “This is not an emergency landing.”

11.40 am (MST): We land in Denver. Still feeling OK.
12 pm to 1 pm: Various time estimates on how long it will take to fix the plane. The initial 20 minutes turn into an hour, maybe more. If we don’t leave within the hour, we’ll miss our connecting flight to Paris. Who knows then when we’re getting out of D.C.? The D.C. airport is planned to shut down at 9 p.m. EST for severe weather conditions.
1.07 pm: Husband calls United 1K phone line, talks to United staff about alternatives. We’re in luck. United staff can book us on a Denver-Chicago, Chicago-Charlotte, Charlotte-Frankfurt, Frankfurt-Paris. Estimated arrival time: Sunday Dec. 20 in the afternoon.

1.10 pm: We disembark with our cabin luggage. The flight attendant outside the gate can book us a Washington D.C. – London at 10 p.m. EST. Arriving Saturday morning in London sounds better than Sunday in Paris. We can still make our two family Christmas parties in Paris on Saturday night. We book the London flight in case we miss the Paris connection.

1.15 pm: The captain informs us that the repair status of UA 914 is looking better than anticipated. The technical crew may have the missing part in Denver - or we may change planes. Weighing pros and cons.
1.25 pm: Get back on plane. Return to our seats. Girls play dress-up with stuffed animals.
1.28 pm: Captain announcement. Problem can’t get fixed. We are changing planes. Everybody to disembark. By the way, now’s a good time to get lunch. However, please stay close to Gate 35 in case we board early.
1.35 pm: Our quickest lunch option is Mc Donald’s. It’s fast and it’s food – whatever.
1.45 pm: Suddenly we realize we're too far to hear flight announcements. We make a run for Gate 35, fries and chicken salad in hand.
1.50 pm: In front of Gate 35, panting. Everybody’s there. Nothing’s moving. The chicken is chewy.
1.53 pm: International passengers asked to check in with customer service at Gate B27. Husband takes off.
2.30 pm: Husband comes back. The line wasn’t moving. Thirty people ahead of him.
2.31 pm: We commiserate. Husband tries the red carpet club. Line’s got to be shorter…
2.55 pm: Crew announcement. We’ll get back on the initial plane. Problem fixed. Boarding update in 10 minutes.

3.05 pm: On board UA 914 - again. Washington D.C. international connections have been warned. They’ll most likely wait for us.

4.15 pm: So long, Denver. 

6 pm: Crew announcement. Flights for Paris and Frankfurt both left Washington D.C. 

6.10 pm: London flight, you are our only hope.

8.30 pm (EST): Landing in Washington D.C. Husband jumps on London flight attendants to retrieve our seats. “Sir, your name is not on the list.”

8.40 pm: “Sir, we found you. You are on the waiting list.” I look at the screen. 20 seats left on the plane. 200 people trying to change itineraries.

9.45 pm: United manager prints our four boarding passes. Phew. Thank God for the husband’s 1K status. Only glitch. “Once you guys are in London, you are on your own.” On our own? Surely, United doesn't expect us to swim across the Channel with our luggage. Or do they?

10 pm: On board UA 924.

10.08 pm: Crew announcement. We cannot leave yet. The storm is closing in and the plane needs to be de-iced before taking off.

11 pm: Getting antsy. De-icing.

11.30 pm: Glass of water please? More de-icing. 
Midnight: Flight UA 924 departs for London. At last. We are the last flight out before the airport completely shuts down for two days. 

Saturday December 19, 2009 
London time (GMT)
12 pm: Arrival in London.

12.15 pm: The master plan: (1) Husband runs to book seats for Paris, (2)  I recover luggage, (3) We meet by United ticket counter. Nice and square.

11.45 pm: No signs of our luggage. Same 10 suitcases have been looping around for 20 minutes.

12.55 pm: I start filing a lost baggage claim.

1 pm: “Ma’am, your luggage might be in Washington D.C.” Or it might not. I knew it! Green paper, white paper, staple.

1.15 pm: Husband and luggage-less us reconvene. The Channel tunnel is closed. The EuroStar is closed. 100, 000 travelers are stranded in London trying to get across the Channel. There are no seats on flights to Paris either today or tomorrow. Not until Dec. 26, as a matter of fact.

1.16 pm: Two options. We can fly to Brussels on Sunday morning and get to Paris "on our own", or fly to Dusseldorf Sunday afternoon at 5 pm and arrive in Paris at 10 pm. We decide to try Brussels. We’ll overnight at one of the airport hotels. Fancy.

1.45 pm: I call my dad. “Can you please book us four seats on a train from Brussels to Paris tomorrow?”

2.15 pm: Done. We are booked on the 11.13 am train next day from Brussels to Paris.

3 pm: We have our hotel room and meal vouchers. We’ll fly to Brussels with American Airlines. It’s starting to sounds like a vacation. That evening: rather than rotting away in our hotel room, we go to town in London, walk down the Embankment. So nice to be outside of the airport radius.

Sunday December 20, 2009
6.56 am: From hotel, we hop on the Hotel Hoppa shuttle.

8.10 am: Entering the American Airlines gate area. Special security policy: body search for the four of us, including the 4-year-old. Our hand luggage is literally taken apart and re-packed.

8.45 am: Seated on plane.

8.50 am: Crew announcement. The Brussels airport is closed due to inclement weather. We’ll wait an hour for the airport to open up.

8.55 am: Captain announcement. The weather is really bad. Everybody to disembark.

9 am: Back to gate area.

9.40 am: We’ll leave at 11 am.

10:13 am: In Brussels, the train to Paris leaves the station – obviously, without us.

11 am: We’ll leave at 1 pm. Please line up for re-boarding.

11.30 am: Second body search for the four of us, including the 4-year-old. Our hand luggage is – again – taken apart and re-packed, but the woman does a better job than the man and my carry-on won’t close.

11.31 am: All zipped up. Ready to go.

11.40 am: In gate area. The girls are thirsty. Husband feeds a few coins in a vending machine to get water. They simply disappear.

11.50 am: Curse of the restroom. I walk up there when a woman walks back. “The tap doesn’t work but the soap does,” she says, rubbing her foamy hands.

12 pm: I start writing this blog posting on my chair.

12.10 pm: A fellow passenger does push-ups. Not kidding.

12:37 pm: We’ll leave at 3 pm. The attendant warns "it's a very tentative slot."

2.30 pm: Crew announcement. The flight is cancelled. Very tentative indeed. "Please go to Customer Service..." - I've heard that one before.

2.45 pm: We line up with the other passengers at the American Airlines counter. Our 4-year-old falls asleep on a seat. The other one's cranky.

3.15 pm: At the American Airlines counter, they advise us to go to the United counter in a different terminal. We gather both kids and head out.

3.40 pm: At the United counter it's science-fiction. We finally get a ticket for Dusseldorf that afternoon - it gets cancelled within minutes.

3.45 pm: We can opt for a flight late on Monday night via some German-speaking country or get stand-by tickets for Air France flight tonight. Like we stand a chance to get 4 seats on the same flight.

3.50 pm: Argument with United staff. If we get stranded another night, we have to pay for our own lodging, food and transportation. United policies consider we have been sufficiently compensated with a night at a airport hotel. Would you repeat that please?

4 pm: Intense frustration turns to utter despair. We let them issue Air France stand-by tickets but with the Channel Tunnel closed, there's not a hope in a world we'll get through.

4:05 pm: Sod it! We start thinking straight and give up on planes. Direction: the train ticketing counter at a different terminal at Heathrow. We call the ferry in Dover and book 4 tickets for the following morning.

4.30 pm: We are on the Heathrow Express to Paddington Station, then hop on the Bakerloo subway line to Charing cross.

7.09 pm: On the train to Dover Priory. Yeepee! At last we're moving in some direction.

9.30 pm: We take a cab to the Wallett's Court Countryhouse Hotel in Dover, a very charming lodging option and the last one that still had rooms in Dover. Obviously, a lot of the air and train trafic did wonders for the Dover ferry business.

Monday December 21st, 2009
6.50 am: It snowed last night. The radio announces more railway closures and ferry delays. We look at each other. Could this turn awry too? We don't deserve this. The cab shows up on time and takes it super-easy on the road. Conditions are icy and slippery. It's definitely not a good day for a road accident.

 7.30 am: We line up to take a bus at the P&O Ferries counter.

8 am: The bus takes us to a giant ferry on the docks.

8.45 am: The ferry leaves England. We call my dad. He's driving from Paris to pick us up in Calais.

9.30 am: Slightly queasy. Travel motion pills don't help.

11.30 am (GMT + 1): In Calais, France! We consider doing like the Pope and kissing the ground but it's muddy snow and we just want to get out of there.

1 pm: My dad picks us up while we're having lunch in Calais.

4:26 pm: Paris, our final destination.

The trip is over. It takes a while to sink in. Over. We've been away for three days, have only had one warm meal outside of plane meals and airport sandwiches, and we are finally getting to our holiday destination. 

Time to unpack. Husband calls United to recover our luggage. Looks at me, speechless. United lost our luggage... 

Lord, have mercy.

L'Heurloger: Repairing Old Clocks in Paris

Thinking about replacing a clock mechanism with batteries? Think twice: no batteries, no electricity, just elbow grease to keep track of time. The ultimate green machine. Old clocks are not only remainders of days gone by but fit to keep on ticking for many years to come.

Some people can't stand the tic toc of a clock. Some can't live without. My brother Jean Latham, otherwise known as L'Heurloger, used to sleep with 17 clocks chiming, ringing, tick-tocking in his bedroom, some on the hour, others on the half hour, a few on the quarters. That's how passionate he is about clocks. He simply loves fine craftsmanship.

Clock repairers are akin to an endangered species in the digital age and it's a shame really. Clocks are such beautiful and fascinating mechanics. Clocks used to be the heart and soul of a home, the only noise at night and the morning wind up drill. However, few clocks are in working condition because they are complex mechanisms. That's what clock repairers are for.

So how do you become a clock repairer, an horloger? It helps if, as a teenager, you're gung ho on mechanics, be they motos, tv sets or clocks. Jean took apart every single thing my parents had. It drove them nuts. Then Jean put things back together with his fairy hands and tada! They were as good as new.

That's how he discovered his calling for old clocks. Tirelessly, he spent hours weighing the pros and cons of a wheel here or a wheel there. He started making missing parts with his own hands.

Finally, he entered a clock repairer workshop as an apprentice. His apprenticeship lasted 15 years, first in the 8th arrondissement of Paris, second in Le Marais. Jean now runs the only clock repair shop in Puteaux and one of few in the Hauts de Seine, Paris western suburbs. Puteaux's local magazine ran an article on him in their April 2008 issue.

Located at the back of an alley in Puteaux, Jean is always up for a technical challenge or the simple refreshing of a clock or a mechanical watch. If you ask him, he'll gladly share his love for "swinging pendulums, springs and wheels".

He always shows me something interesting when I visit. He once showed me a gilded leaning woman clock. The woman sat on the round display underneath which a monster's head opened its mouth to let out a chain. The chain twisted and turned with the mechanism, creating the illusion of gilded water falling in a wrinkled metal pool below. I'd never seen anything like it before.

From automats to bracket clocks, from music boxes to room barometers, from grand-father clocks to carriage clocks, he's seen his fair share of clocks.

My two little girls love to ask him the how and why of clocks. "Jeannot," they ask him, "Will you show us how this works?" Obliging, he'll open the back of a wooden cuckoo clock, turn a few wheels, tap the spring, check the escapement and pull on the weights. "See," he says, "This is the pipe that activates the 'cuc-koo' sound and this is the round spring with a hammer for the gong sound. Listen."

He turns the hands of the display and a few seconds later, "gong - cuc-koo, gong-cuc-koo". Right on.

Paris: Parc and Chateau de Bagatelle

On September 20, 1777 late in the afternoon, Marie-Antoinette - then 22 years old- and the Comte d'Artois - younger brother of Louis XVI - threw a crazy bet.

Marie-Antoinette wagered that the Comte d'Artois would never be able to build a castle in three months. The location? A piece of land in the Bois de Boulogne owned by the Comte d'Artois and notoriously known as a spot of libertinism or life's guilty pleasures called Bagatelle (which means a trifle or a decorative little nothing). All night long, Jean-Francois Belanger the architect stayed up. At dawn, he had completed the entire plans of the future castle.

During two months, 800 workers labored tirelessly, day and night and on November 26, 64 days later, the Chateau de Bagatelle was inaugurated. Built in an English-Chinese style popular as a counter trend to the rigidity of 18th century French gardens, the Parc and Chateau de Bagatelle made it through the French Revolution, the Commune de Paris and are open to the public nowadays as a unique landscaped garden.

Bagatelle is famous for its rose collection as it houses 9,500 rose bushes representing 1,500 rose varieties. Each year, a New Rose Festival is held in June.

Whenever I stop in Paris, I like to go to Bagatelle. Getting out is always part of my "anti jetlag" plan. To each season its different flower beds or atmosphere. I was lucky to visit this year right when daffodils, hyacinths and tulips brighten up the green lawns of Bagatelle.

It's a great place for a family stroll. Although children have to stear clear of the flower beds, they always marvel at the peacocks parading in the park and calling each other.

They also love the many alleyways and the intricate rock formations gracing the park. From fake islands with secret cave chambers to the phenomenal multi-tiered waterfall and pond, Bagatelle is worth its weight in rococo rock tunnels and bridges.

Under a bridge I pointed to my 5 year-old to a bush where I once saw a hedgehog as a little girl. My daughter wondered if the hedgehog would still be there which led me to remind her - once again - of my antique age. Hedgehogs don't live that long!

After we failed to find a tunnel under the waterfall (although I was convinced there was one), we ran back towards the entrance for tea time.

Yes the best part of the visit usually comes towards the end as we like to stop at the Restaurant de Bagatelle which serves afternoon tea and drinks on the terrace. It's a lovely spot that gets crowded during nice summer days but the trees whispering around and peacocks calling make it a great place to listen to the absence of cars in a city park. If you plan to go there at night, you'll be pleased to learn that plans are in the works to make the currently pricey eatery into a budget-conscious bistro and a fancy restaurant.

Alas for us we got there past 5pm and pastries disappear magically after 5pm. My girls settled for a creamy and dense hot chocolate. See that grin? It's the happy hot chocolated child.

Last mention for music lovers. The Orangerie de Bagatelle (where oranges and lemons trees overwinter to prevent freezing) hosts a marvellous Chopin and classical music festival each summer.